She says, The human spirit is resilient. God made us so. He gave us the ability to forgive. To leave the past behind. To look forward instead of back. I'm not the first on who has ever done this. People have been doing it for generations. Since the beginning of time, men have found ways to heal.
She talks about the history of strong Mormon women in her family, especially her mother. After her ordeal, these are the words her mother told her:
Elizabeth, what this man has done is terrible. there aren't any words that are strong enough to describe how wicked and evil he is! He has taken nine months of your life that you will never get back again. But the best punishment you could ever give him is to be happy. To move forward with your life. To do exactly what you want. Because, yes, this will probably go to trial and some kind of sentencing will be given to him and that wicked woman. But even if that's true, you may never feel like justice has been served or that true restitution has been made. But you don't need to worry about that. At the end of the day, God is our ultimate judge. He will make up to you every pain and loss that you have suffered. And if it turns out that these wicked people are not punished her on Earth, it doesn't matter. His punishments are just. You don't ever have to worry. You don't ever have to even think about them again. You be happy, Elizabeth. Just be happy. If you go and feel sorry for yourself, or if you dwell on what has happened, if you hold on to your pain, that is allowing him to steal more of your life away. So don't you do that! Don't you let him! There is no way he deserves that. Not one more second of your life. You keep every second for yourself. You keep them and be happy. God will take care of the rest.
Elizabeth put this advise into practice. She also employed some specific activities to help herself heal. On of these included horse back riding with her grandfather. Horses provided her a place to heal, as she experienced nature on the back of a horse.
Elizabeth also turned to her music. She plays the harp. She studied music performance at BYU.
She also embraced an attitude of gratitude, focusing on her many months of good experience, rather than her terrible nine months.
She concludes with this statement, "All of these things have helped me. But ultimately, to get better, I simply made a choice. Life is a journey for us all. We all face trials. We all have ups and down. All of us are human. But we are also the masters of our fate. We are the ones who decide how we are going to react to life.
Resilience is a special gift. It is such a factor in our reaction to trauma. It is often a determining factor on our response and outcome. Those people with more resiliency are able to move past trauma. However less is known about where resiliency comes form. Is it something that can be taught, because if it can, this could be a major focus of mental health treatment.
Wikipedia gives a definition of psychological resilience, which is a new area of focus in mental health:
Psychological resilience is defined as an individual's ability to successfully adapt to life tasks in the face of social disadvantage or highly adverse conditions.[1] Adversity and stress can come in the shape of family or relationship problems, health problems, or workplace and financial worries, among others.[2] Resilience is the ability to bounce back from a negative experience with "competent functioning". Resilience is not a rare ability; in reality, it is found in the average individual and it can be learned and developed by virtually anyone. Resilience should be considered a process, rather than a trait to be had. It is a process of individuation through a structured system with gradual discovery of personal and unique abilities.
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