10 Commandments of Human Relations

This is found in Legacy: Daughter of Utah Pioneers Newsletter, Winter 2008

1. Speak to people.  There is nothing so nice as a cheerful word of greeting.
2. Smile at people.  It takes 72 muscles to frown, and only 14 to smile.
3. Call people by name.  The sweetest music to anyone's ears is the sound of his or her own name.
4. Be friendly.  If you would have friends, you need to be one.
5. Be cordial.  Speak and act as if everything you do is a genuine pleasure.
6. Be genuinely interested.  People want to know that you care about what they have to say.
7. Be generous with praise.  Affirmation is uplifting to a person.  Be cautious with you criticisms.
8. Be considerate.  Feelings are hurt rather easily.  Be aware of that fact and don't be rude--even if you disagree.
9. Give service.  It's more fun to give than to receive.  You'll make somebody's day.
10. Add to these a sense of humor, a big dose of patience and a dash of humility, and you will be rewarded many fold.

**Book Review: People who need people Are the healthiest People: The Importance of Relationships

This book was co-authored by someone I use to know, Brent Q. Hafen.  He did his graduate studies at SIU when we lived in Carbondale, Ill.  His children were a bit younger than us.  He became a professor in the health field at BYU.  The other author is Kathryn J. Frandsen.  It is published by Behavioral Health Associates, Provo, Utah, 1986.

The idea behind this book is that those who have good relationships are more healthy.  It takes several chapters quoting studies that talk about the health benefits of those who have good relationships, such as marriage, friends and children and grandchildren.   Of course the opposite of having good relationships is loneliness.  It says there are two types of loneliness, predisposing—characteristics of the individual and values—and precipitating—such as loneliness that follows an event. 

“No one is immune from loneliness.  Depending on your needs, your relationships, and your life circumstances at any given time, you may fall victim to feelings of loneliness and abandonment. 

Knowing the issues, and the benefits of good relationships, the book presents several strategies for improving relationships.  This include communication and touching, holding and hugging.  They present an introduction into how to communicate effectively—which includes listening.  They also introduce the topic of touch, and how touch is so important to our human journey. 

The authors also present a good description of a family which is meeting needs for relationships, vs a family which is showing signs of tension. 

This book was written in 1986, but its message is still relevant.