When I was in graduate school, I wrote a paper on separation issues in
adolescents. It was titled “Adolescents, familial break-up, and
grieving.” I wanted to share a few excerpts and ides based on those.
In
my experience working at Utah Boys Ranch I have noticed a common theme
among many of the boys. A majority of the boys come from families which
have experienced loss of a parental figure; or have lost both parents.
Many are form single parent families or from reconstituted families. …
It is estimated one third of all children will experience such a loss
before they are 18.
Although impossible to predict each time some
correlations have been made between loss and adolescent behaviors. Some
of these are: increased delinquency, lack of self-esteem, taking on
more responsibility and reduced intellectual ability. Henry Epstein
(1955) found a correlation between delinquency and family life. He
studied to life histories of delinquent and maladjusted persons and
found an “unwontedly large proportion of individual separated from their
families for an extended period in their tender years.”
Another
study by David Offord (1979) had similar results. The control group of
young women showed 22 percent came from broken homes, as compared to
delinquent young women 66 percent came from broken homes.
Eric
Poole and Robert Regoli (1979) also conducted a study, but concluded
that in addition to lack of parental support at home, the influence of
peers also needed to be considered.
Other problems besides
delinquency are the result of family problems. Alec Roy (1981) found
parental loss before age 17 was the most constant predictor of adult
depression. Reduced intellectual ability was noted by Laus Bergman
(1981). “The most important influences on intellectual development are
found in the early home environment.” He noted males were more
susceptible to decreased performance due to family disruption than
males. He also noted the effect was diluted depending on the
individual’s ability to catch up.
Another aspect of a broken home is
that the children have to grow up faster. Adolescents take on increased
responsibility with the loss of a parent, often taking on chores,
nurturing younger children, being a parental confident, or in the case
of abandonment actually taking on the parental role.
Adolescence has
been described as a river through which a child must cross to reach
adulthood. How the child handles this crossing is based on preparation
and inner strength. (Charnley 1955). The youth is dealing with a
changing body and increased sexual drives, emotional emancipation,
social influence of peers, and values clarification. Eriksen says the
crisis of adolescence is identity vs. diffusion. The question facing
the teen is “Who am I?” This question has many aspects: sexual, social,
vocational, family, and personal. Inability to answer these questions
leads to: rebellion, cliques, breaking laws, and defying societal
standards. Children of loss have a harder time answering these
questions.
Another task of adolescence is emancipation. A stable
home can facilitate this process. A missing family, or family that has
experienced loss, is a less effective springboard for launching children
into adulthood.
Overlaying these concerns is how the child has
handled loss. Claudia Jewitt (1982) feels healthy grieving can take up
to two years. Jewitt describes three stages of grief: early grief, the
initial shock, denial and alarm of a loss; acute grief, yearning and
ping and searching for the lost person, strong emotional feeling,
disorganization, despair and reorganization; and subsiding grief which
includes integration of the loss and a sense of mastery.
Yorick
Spiegel (1973) notes that with grief there is regression. The person’s
self is deflated. Following this loss, there is a period of
reintegration, where the child adapts to the new environment. After
this the child’s functioning could actually can be improved, about the
same, or less functional than before the loss.
In conclusion it is
important to remember that a loss does not equal delinquency. However
it does indicate that someone is at risk. This is a population for whom
prevention services would be beneficial. Family break-up, grieving and
loss added to adolescence is a good predictor of behavioral problem if
adequate steps are not taken to provide social support and help youth
deal with inner feelings.
